I turn 40 years old today!  The new year always makes everyone reflect a bit. But since it coincides with a big birthday, I’ve also been reflecting on this past decade – all that I’ve been through and learned.

In my 30’s: I got married. I did my first Ironman. I built a house. I got pregnant and had a baby. I left my job and started my own business. I got pregnant again and had a home birth.

Then, life got really busy.

I never lost the baby weight. My relationship started to fall apart (I didn’t even realize it). I lost my confidence. I lost sight of my dreams. I stopped expressing myself. I lied to myself. I lied to other people (other people: “How is everything going?” me: “Oh, fine…”). I drank wine…lots of wine. I ate chocolate. I gained weight. I betrayed myself and I betrayed people close to me.

I felt awful about myself. 

I got help. I started going to the gym. I stopped eating crap food. I did Ironman for the second time.

I loved. I lost.

I grieved about the massive disappointment I felt in my life. I created some boundaries. I let go of friendships that weren’t really friendships at all (you know the kind). I let go of my marriage. I became a single mom. I threw myself into my business.

I figured out how to make myself a priority.

I overcame overwhelming self-doubt, massive insecurities, and paralyzing fear. I stayed fit. I stayed healthy. I stayed committed to my goals.

I learned how to cultivate my own hope, create new dreams, and let love into my life again.

I found joy in the simple things. I learned the art of surrendering.

I learned how to let go. 

My 30’s were the most challenging years of my life – so much joy and pain, love and fear, growth and stagnation. But what I learned through all of it is that Imatter. What I want matters. How I want to feel matters. How I want to love and be loved matters.  

I’m sharing this because I want you to understand that you matter, too. 

Despite any struggles you’re facing or challenges you’re trying to overcome, you are stronger than you think and you will get through this.

And so my birthday wish is that you will tune into your intuition and pay attention – let it guide you towards taking action. Don’t denying yourself the opportunity to fully live your life.

Here’s to new beginnings. There is no better time to start.