It’s my birthday week. I turn 43 years old today. The fact that my birthday is in January gives me double the opportunity to take stock of my life and the year ahead. For some reason it feels like I have this special super power to wipe the slate clean and start fresh.
I have been super reflective lately…could be a result of the deep inner personal development work I’m doing or simply because I’ve had a bit more time to “think”. Regardless – I want to share what I’ve learned about being in my 40’s compared to my 30’s in the event it can help you with whatever you might be going through right now…whatever age you are!
- Your to-do list will never be done, trying to measure your success by how much you “do” is a sure way to constantly feel like a failure.
- Your body can be stronger, healthier and more fit than ever before.
- Learning to slow down is critical for your overall joy and health.
- Having great, consistent sex in your life is a way to nourish yourself (not just something you “give” to your partner).
- Your health is up to you – there is NEVER going to be a “diet” that works for you. If you’ve been chronically dieting your whole life or constantly get caught in the craziness of “instant change now” thinking then watch this.
- Your children will model you and reflect both the best and worst part of yourself – be patient with them (and with yourself – everyone is doing the best they can with the skills they have).
- You can either keep hurting or heal – by your 40’s you’ve probably been through some hard things in your life and are probably realizing patterns repeat. The choice is yours if you want to grow are stay stuck – the amount of “work” is the same.
- If you numb the pain, you numb the joy…
- Feeling your feelings requires courage and support.
- The best investment you can ever make is in your own personal growth (when you can least afford it is probably when you need it the most).
- It’s true what the guru’s say – leaning into gratitude and letting go of expectations makes for a happier life. This doesn’t mean you trade your focus for complacency, it means you let yourself enjoy the journey.
- Paying for help isn’t a “sign of weakness”, it’s a sign of strength.
- Alcohol is a legal “drug” and the most socially acceptable way for women to numb themselves to the reality of their life – it’s used to relax, soothe, and escape, but it’s a temporary fix and the slope to chronic drinking is slippery. Be careful with this one.
- Relationships require effort and need to be tended to – make sure you’re tending the ones that are most important to you.
- Having girlfriends who will be with you through the thick and thin of life are essential – in the past five years, during the hardest time of my life, I’ve let go of friendships that no longer serve me and have been dumped by friends who’ve needed more of me than I could give. Both are ok.
- Happiness is not the end goal. It does not magically appear when you hit your goal weight, or your bank account is flush, or you finally get the guy – It is something that you have the power to create regardless of your external circumstances and the MORE you choose to step into happiness now, regardless of your situation, the journey towards anything gets better.
- Achievement for achievement sake is nothing if you don’t feel fulfilled along the way.
- Forgiveness is a must. Give yourself permission to forgive the things you have messed up on in your life. Beating yourself up is a form of self-sabotage and does absolutely NOTHING for you. The past is done. The future is happening to you minute by minute.
- Learn to let go. If you don’t like your past, learn from it and then let go of it. Clinging to it keeps you stuck in a story and if it was unhappy the first time around why would you want to keep repeating it?
- Your life is up to you – daydreaming is productive (and magical). If you stay caught in constantly ticking things of your to-do list you’ll never have time or space in your life to contemplate what you want next. How can you get anywhere if you don’t know where you want to go?
- Your health is important. When you are physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy you get to be the best version of you. But there are things that will challenge you and you’ll get off track, that’s ok, the most important thing is that you GET BACK on track. Don’t wait. If you need help with this watch this…I got off track too, and I found my way back. If I can, so can you.
- Laugh. A LOT. Laugh at yourself, Teach your kids how to laugh at themselves. Laugh at life. Laugh at the good and laugh at the ridiculously hard things you are going through, Those things might be happening and they may be out of your control…but choosing to laugh eases the pain, creates hope, and let’s the sunshine crack through the clouds. I wish I had been more able to do this more 3 years ago.
- Being overweight took a massive toll on my self-confidence and held me back from experiencing so many things, it felt out of my control but it wasn’t. Being the “right weight” is within your control (I know it may not feel like it). There are 3 big problems affecting women’s weight loss – learn what they are and what you should do instead here.
I’ll be posting 20 more things about being in my 40’s compared to my 30’s soon (Part 2). BUT if you have any of your own insights you’d like to share about the wisdom you’ve gained from age I’d love to hear from you! Simply comment below and let me know.
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