What Defines You?

What Defines You?

I’m a mom to two young children (an almost 3 yr old and a 9 mo), I’m also a wife and an entrepreneur. I’m sure I could find 10 other “titles” or “roles” to define me but that’s the thing – they’re just labels.

I am more than my “roles”. I am more than my “titles”.

I believe that our whole self is greater than the sum of our parts of self (labels, titles) yet when we become mothers, whether it’s consciously or not, we tend to give up, abandon, sacrifice, lose, put on hold – choose whatever word you want, parts of our self.

We stop thinking about our own personal goals and dreams, we stop doing things for ourselves, and we stop paying attention.

It may not happen right away and we may not even care at first.

But here’s the thing – when you ignore pieces of your self that fundamentally make you feel like “you” your whole self starts to shrink and whither. And eventually if feels like you’re a shell of the woman that you were before you had kids.

I noticed this for myself after my second child was born. I’d have a window of time I could go and do something just for me like head to the gym, or go for a run and I found myself saying crazy things like, “Oh, yeah, I guess I could go but I need to get the laundry done” (or the floor washed, or make dinner or whatever other weird thing came out of my mouth). And I could feel myself starting to slip away a little bit – NOT COOL.

So, I made some changes. I signed up for my first half marathon since having kids and created a training program. Guess what – I’m running all the time now. I’ve said “no” to a few things so I could say “yes” to doing something for me.

Has anybody else out there felt this way? Is there any particular “role” in your life that feels consuming for you? Which one? What could you say “no” to in order to create some space in your life for you? Please leave me a comment below – I’d love to get this conversation started!