It’s “High Tide!” Time

New Year, New Word, New Image

I know at the beginning of January a lot of us are trying to pick our “word of the year” and I did pick one but being a visual person I also wanted to have an “image of the year” and this one’s it. It also helps that I love what is written beside it.

“Every one of us is called upon, probably many times, to start a new life. A frightening diagnosis, a marriage, a move, loss of a job…And onward full tilt we go, pitched and wrecked and absurdly resolute, driven in spite of everything to make good on a new shore. To be hopeful, to embrace on possibility after another–that is surely the basic instinct…Crying out: Hgh tide! Time to move out into the glorious debris. Time to take this life for what it is.” — Barbara Kingsolver, from High Tide in Tuscon

The beginning of a new year is the chance to give  yourself and your life a clean slate. No matter what has happened (or hasn’t happened) you get the chance to start over. For me, I trust that all of my “successes” and “failures” are a part of a bigger design to instill in me the knowledge and wisdom I need to have to go forward.

I didn’t actually choose a “word of the year” for 2010 but looking back I’d say my word was “experiment”. I learned a ton about:

• What worked and didn’t work in my business because I tried and played with all sorts of different things – some hits and others were misses
• What was manageable and unmanageable in my family life as we experimented with different schedules and commitments while keeping our priorities & values in check
• The kinds of relationships I want in my life – both with family and friends- and letting go of the relationships that simply didn’t work

And the result is that I have so much more clarity about who I am, what’s important to me, where I’m going and what I need in my life.  It’s such an incredible gift! And let me tell you, there were many things that were hard about last year and many things I’d rather have not “experimented” with because it simply would have been easier to do nothing, to ignore, to sweep under the carpet.

Fortunately, that’s just not the way I roll.

Hindsight & Perspective Are Two Sweet Things

I’m curious by nature and a “doer” and I know that for me to live my best life it means rolling up my sleeves and doing some grunt work and now, sitting here on the other side of 2010, I can truly say I’m so glad I did.

In fact, on New Year’s Eve my husband and I put our kids to bed and then we each wrote out 50 things we wanted to celebrate about 2010. That’s right – 50. And then we shared our lists with each other.

Surprisingly (or not) many of the things I was celebrating on Dec 31 were experiences that I’d considered “failures” at the time. Hindsight and perspective are two sweet things. We finished our new years ritual by writing out 50 more things that we want to be celebrating come Dec 31, 2011. (This is a very cool thing to do by the way and it’s not too late!)

I know this is going to be one amazing year because I’m holding that image above in my head and my heart and I’m crying out “High Tide!” to my life.

I’d love to hear how you celebrated New Year’s and how you’re moving into this amazing new year – just drop down into the comments below.

Happy New Year to all of you!

When Commitment Feels Scary

The Ultimate Sign

I was out for my long run today and was going about my thing…running…and saw this. It stopped me in my tracks and I had to catch my breath – it wasn’t just that I was breathing hard from exertion, it was like a SIGN had been put right on my running path intended only for me to see. And here’s exactly what ran through my mind as I read each line…

Commit

“No. I’m scared. I don’t know how.”

Commit

“No. Forget it. It doesn’t matter what I think. It’s too hard. People will think it’s stupid”

Commit

“I can’t. I’m still confused. I don’t know how to best say it. It’s jumbled up. I’m not ready yet”

Commit

“I want to. I do. But…I just feel full of ‘I don’t knows…’”

Commit

“I know. I know. I know. I know I’m selling out if I don’t. I know I’m playing small if I don’t. I know it’s what I need to do. How? How do I do this? How do I start?”

Commit

“I want to. I get a knot in my stomach. I feel nervous. I feel anxious. I feel emotional thinking about it. I get stuck in the ‘what ifs…’ too. What if people laugh? What if no one cares? What if I’m wrong? What if this doesn’t help anyone? What if..?

Commit

“Ok. Ok. Ok-enough!!! I’m willing. I’m ready. I mean not really “ready” but as ready as I think I’ll ever be. Ok. I’ll start. I promise. I commit. Please help me!”

There was a lot more than that but those are the essential pieces. You see, I’ve kinda been holding out…I’ve got some BIG stuff that I want to share and talk about and yet I’ve been unwilling to commit. I’ve been holding out on myself and you. And as much as I work with my clients every day around quieting their inner critic(s) mine have been having a field day.

This really should be my clue that I’m getting close to something big.

And you see, I’ve wanted to talk about this, what I’m feeling, what’s really going on for me but I’ve also felt like a hypocrite – I mean I’m a Coach, I should know better, I shouldn’t have saboteur thoughts and so on and so forth. But I do, and I’m working on them with my own Coach.

I also happen to have incredible friends who are also Coaches and they’re not letting me hide out. They’re calling me on my stuff…daily. Thank you, by the way – your acknowledgement and championing of me that has meant more than you know.

I commit.

This post is my first step.

And now I want to ask you, what have you wanted to commit to but haven’t for whatever reason?

• Maybe you’ve had one foot in and one foot out of your relationship because that just seems easier, you can’t get as hurt that way…or

• Maybe you’ve promised to take better care of yourself yet you don’t …or

• Maybe you’ve wanted to change your career because the one you’re in now is wounding your soul but you feel stuck because of the money and change just seems so hard…you get the idea.

I’ve been asking myself some pretty hard questions in order to help me move forward. Let me ask you too:

1. What’s the worst thing that could happen if you took that first step?
2. What are you modeling for your kids?
3. What advice would you give your daughter if she was where you are now?
4. What are you getting from staying stuck? Think about this…it must be something or you would have done something.
5. How is fear holding you back? Write down what you’re afraid of – you’ll see it’s not so bad once it’s out of your mind and on paper.

Noticing the crap that you tell yourself and the sneaky way you can make it sound even logical (it’s safer this way, not ready yet, not experienced enough, don’t have enough time, etc.)  is the beginning of being able to move forward.

This is the beginning of a new phase for me. I’d love to share the ride – if you’ve been holding out, afraid of committing to something you know is deeply important to you, then drop down into the comments section below and let me know I’ve got company.