I’m back!

I can’t deny it…

Life definitely got the better of me a few months ago and I needed to take a break to regroup and get back on track. Has that ever happened to you?

I’m sure there were signs along the way that I just didn’t pay attention to (duh…of course there were) but being a very determined and high capacity person I either consciously or subconsciously chose to ignore those signs. I got stuck in the trap of thinking “this is just how it is right now”…which, by the way, is such a lie. You always have the ability to influence your own life – it’s just easy to forget that sometimes.

The one thing that I simply can’t ignore is my health. I mean really, if you don’t have that, what do you have?  You could have all the money or time in the world but if you aren’t healthy and feeling good you can’t enjoy either of those things.

I made a quick little video (well…it’s actually 5 min) but it tells you honestly and candidly about what’s been going on for me these past few  months and what I did to get myself back – you can check it out below

I’m back!

And of course, comments are great! I’d love to hear if you’ve ever gone through something like this and what you did to get yourself back.

It’s “High Tide!” Time

New Year, New Word, New Image

I know at the beginning of January a lot of us are trying to pick our “word of the year” and I did pick one but being a visual person I also wanted to have an “image of the year” and this one’s it. It also helps that I love what is written beside it.

“Every one of us is called upon, probably many times, to start a new life. A frightening diagnosis, a marriage, a move, loss of a job…And onward full tilt we go, pitched and wrecked and absurdly resolute, driven in spite of everything to make good on a new shore. To be hopeful, to embrace on possibility after another–that is surely the basic instinct…Crying out: Hgh tide! Time to move out into the glorious debris. Time to take this life for what it is.” — Barbara Kingsolver, from High Tide in Tuscon

The beginning of a new year is the chance to give  yourself and your life a clean slate. No matter what has happened (or hasn’t happened) you get the chance to start over. For me, I trust that all of my “successes” and “failures” are a part of a bigger design to instill in me the knowledge and wisdom I need to have to go forward.

I didn’t actually choose a “word of the year” for 2010 but looking back I’d say my word was “experiment”. I learned a ton about:

• What worked and didn’t work in my business because I tried and played with all sorts of different things – some hits and others were misses
• What was manageable and unmanageable in my family life as we experimented with different schedules and commitments while keeping our priorities & values in check
• The kinds of relationships I want in my life – both with family and friends- and letting go of the relationships that simply didn’t work

And the result is that I have so much more clarity about who I am, what’s important to me, where I’m going and what I need in my life.  It’s such an incredible gift! And let me tell you, there were many things that were hard about last year and many things I’d rather have not “experimented” with because it simply would have been easier to do nothing, to ignore, to sweep under the carpet.

Fortunately, that’s just not the way I roll.

Hindsight & Perspective Are Two Sweet Things

I’m curious by nature and a “doer” and I know that for me to live my best life it means rolling up my sleeves and doing some grunt work and now, sitting here on the other side of 2010, I can truly say I’m so glad I did.

In fact, on New Year’s Eve my husband and I put our kids to bed and then we each wrote out 50 things we wanted to celebrate about 2010. That’s right – 50. And then we shared our lists with each other.

Surprisingly (or not) many of the things I was celebrating on Dec 31 were experiences that I’d considered “failures” at the time. Hindsight and perspective are two sweet things. We finished our new years ritual by writing out 50 more things that we want to be celebrating come Dec 31, 2011. (This is a very cool thing to do by the way and it’s not too late!)

I know this is going to be one amazing year because I’m holding that image above in my head and my heart and I’m crying out “High Tide!” to my life.

I’d love to hear how you celebrated New Year’s and how you’re moving into this amazing new year – just drop down into the comments below.

Happy New Year to all of you!

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Commitment & Confidence Go Hand In Hand

I’ve got a little story to share.

As most of you know I signed up for Ironman Canada 2011. I did the race five years ago and was just really feeling like I needed to have my own goal again, something just for me.

A month ago it seemed like a really great idea and I was super excited about it.

Then October happened and it was probably the busiest month I’ve had ever. And for a million reasons (all of them legit) I blew off all of my workouts last week. Every single one of them. So I vowed that I’d re-examine my schedule and get things figured out for this week.

Then Monday rolled around and once again I felt like I had a “to-do” list a mile long and the only thing that could be shoved off of it was my workout.
Then it was Tuesday and at 8:45pm last night I still hadn’t done my workout AND I didn’t want to. It would have been really, really easy to justify not doing it again.

But I didn’t.

I made a commitment to myself and by not showing up I was starting to lose my confidence that I could really do this. So, I downloaded some mp3′s and headed to the gym for a 50 minute run on the treadmill.

As I walked home at 10:00pm I felt so proud that I overcame what felt like a lot of resistance and got my butt off my chair.

A magical thing happened too – I got my confidence back. Instead of thinking “Holy crap, I don’t think I can do this. It’s going to be too hard, I’m going to be too tired.”
I was thinking “Oh yeah – you can do it, it’s going to feel challenging sometimes but you can so do this!”

And here’s my learning — it’s really easy to slip, get stuck or break promises to yourself but what matters most is what you do AFTER that happens. Do you continue making excuses and letting yourself down or do you change?

It’s really easy to do nothing and to stay comfortable and to justify what you’re not doing. But let me share with you that it does NOT make you feel any better. In fact, breaking a promise or commitment to yourself makes you feel worse.

The way you follow through on things that are important to you matters!

So, if there’s anything that you’ve let slide in your life that you know is important to you, what’s one thing you could do today to get back on track?

Drop down into the comments section below and share what that step is going to be – and if you need a little encouragement or a little nudge let me know how I can help.

What if “Think Small” was the new “Think Big”?

(This is my little girl – she’s an expert at thinking big and taking small steps to reach her goal – in this case, the park!)

I know that you’ve been told a lot to “think big” “dream big” “go big”, in fact I’ve probably said some of those things, but what I’m wondering right now is if “Think Small” might  be the new “Think Big”.

I’m wondering this because the more women I talk to the more I hear the phrase “I feel like I’m not doing enough” or “I just can’t seem to do enough”. Now I think this might be the little sister of the more personal “I’m not enough” syndrome but it can be as equally insidious and has similar symptoms.  Symptoms can include anxiety, stress, sleeplessness, moodiness, crying, chronic exhaustion, snapping and feeling like you just can’t handle everything you’ve got going on in your life anymore without exploding or imploding.

What happens when expectations and reality collide?

I know this one well! In fact in May of last year this hit me hard. I was a full time stay-at-home/work-at-home mom with very little external support and I had BIG expectations of myself. For some reason I thought it was reasonable to think I could be this amazing mom, super successful business owner, athlete, wife, etc. and do everything to a super high standard and when I failed or felt like I wasn’t getting there fast enough or doing things good enough I let that get to me.

I was feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and there was all of this pressure. Needless to say, my melt down wasn’t pretty but it was necessary as it forced me to get very clear on my priorities. And I was able to remember that I get to decide how I want to live my life.

I also came to the realization that what I used to be able to accomplish in a day or a week now takes me a week or a month. No wonder I felt so much pressure – I was totally setting myself up to fail because my expectations didn’t match the reality of my life and hadn’t even realized it.

I’m curioius….Have you ever done this?

Have you ever heaped SOOO much onto your plate stuff is literally falling of the sides. You’re forgetting things, not sleeping enough, missing your opportunity to exercise because you have so many deadlines (often self-imposed deadlines) and simply feel like you’re not enjoying things?

Well it’s time to kick that behavior to the curb!

What if less really is more.

It is your responsibility to set your own life up for success. You have complete control of this and the key is to realize that no matter how amazing or talented or brilliant or ambitious or high achieving or goal oriented you are – you are simply one person. And you are probably wearing  a lot of different hats.   So, if you’ve been inflicted by the “I’m not doing enough syndrome” I want you to do the following:

1) Write down every single thing you’ve done in the past 7 days. Everything. I want you to be specific. If you’ve gone grocery shopping, done the laundry, prepped meals for kids, chauffeured to playdates or preschool, done activities to build your business, worked, exercised, hung out with your partner, slept, nursed…write it all down (if you don’t know exactly to the minute, that’s ok, just estimate it).

2) Add up how much time all of this took.

3) Now write down all of the things you wanted to get done but didn’t for whatever reason.

4) Now write down this number – 168. That’s how many hours there are in a week. Take a look at the number you wrote down for #2.

5) Look at everything you did and how long it took you…is it starting to make sense why things are falling off your plate? There simply aren’t enough hours in the day/week/month to meet the expectations you place on yourself.

You have to align the expectations you have of yourself with your reality. And that means setting realistic and achievable goals.

• This can start with “Thinking Small” instead of “Thinking Big” – maybe instead of aiming to make 6-figures off your first launch (think big) you aim to learn as much as you can this first time around and shoot for $5-10 000 (think small)
• Maybe instead of working like a dog every single available minute of the day in order to ________ (fill in the blank) you see how many times you can make your kids belly laugh today
• How about instead of trying to lose 30 pounds by Christmas you aim for making healthier choices on a consistent basis and feeling grateful about the body you have and all of the amazing things it does for you

Do you get the idea?

I think dreaming big and holding a big vision for your life is awesome and important but not when it creates so much pressure on you today that you lose the ability to enjoy the moments. So, continue to dream big and think big and all of that good stuff but allow yourself to take small steps to get there. It will make the journey 100 million times more fun. And of course I think, the way we reach our dreams matters.

Drop down into the comments below and let me know what you might be willing to “think small” about!

The Way Matters

The following post is an excerpt from my newsletter that I sent out yesterday! I got a very gentle nudge from Jeanne Demers, founder of The Ruby Books which is a site you definitely want to check out, to create it as a blog post. Thanks, Jeanne, for the encouragement!

What is “The Way Matters”?

Our world moves at a fast pace. Everything is about convenience, immediate gratification, short cuts and the quickest way to the top (or wherever you’re trying to get).

At least it’s felt that way to me and it’s made me wonder — what’s the cost? As we get lost in the busyness of our life and caught up with the things that seem so important in the moment but really, in the big picture, don’t matter – what are we losing?

For a while now I’ve had this deeply held belief that The Way Matters:

• The way you live your life matters

• The way you eat matters

• The way you look after your health and your body matters

• The way you love your partner matters

• The way you engage in life matters

• The way you honor your values matters

• The way you build a career for your self matters

• The way you laugh, love and play matters

• The way you hurt, ache and deeply experience life matters

And what I’m noticing is that people are dismissing, minimizing and telling them self that a lot of these things don’t matter.

I’m here to say it does.

It’s so easy to plan to live your life in the future when “this happens..” or “that happens…” and the only thing I know for sure is that you’ve got today. So, make today matter.

Maybe it’s time to slow down…?

The Way Matters is about slowing down your life and your thoughts enough so that you don’t forget who you are or what really matters to you. And from this place – this place of true connection to your values, you build your life.

It’s about recognizing the choices you make will have an impact on you and on your life — maybe not today or tomorrow but there are always implications from the choices you make.

You have to make decisions every day like:

• Do you exercise or go for lunch?

• Do you order in or make dinner?

• Do you give a hug and a kiss when you see your partner or just grunt and continue on?

• Do you do the hard thing or avoid it?

• Do you express your feelings or ignore them?

• Do you choose to make things better or stick with the status quo?

• Do you throw it out or recycle it?

And it’s SO easy to get disconnected from what truly matters in order to get the most gratification from the moment.

Hell yeah, skip your workout and go for lunch and then make your life easier by ordering in and I know you have a lot to do and your partner will be there tomorrow so just grunt and finish up that task and forget about talking with the friend who hurt your feelings, it’s easier to just not bring it up and of course, throw it out, you can start recycling tomorrow.

I’m kinda kidding and kinda not. I know I’ve lived a day week like this and it sucked but imagine living day after day, month after month, year after year like this – totally disconnected from what matters most to you.

Ultimately, “The Way Matters” is a way for me to bring my best work to the world.

I’ve been going around and around trying to figure out what I stand for and how to bring all of the different pieces that I’m passionate about together and this is it.

I’d love to hear any thoughts, comments or feedback you might have for me regarding the whole concept of “The Way Matters”.

Sometimes You Just Need to Say “YES!”

Butterflies

I’m sitting here writing this with butterflies swirling around in my stomach. I’ve just said “YES” to something I don’t know how I’m going to do it…AND I’m so excited!

For a while now I’ve had a nagging feeling that I’ve needed to step up my game, do more, have a goal and yet part of me has resisted it.

I was telling myself that I needed time/space to just “be” and grow my business and be a mom and do all of this stuff which I love and yet I just wasn’t feeling like “me” – do you ever feel that way?

All weekend I was kinda moody, distracted, and had wandering thoughts. You see it was Ironman Canada weekend and I had originally planned on being in Penticton to cheer on the people I know doing it but life had other plans for me (sick kids, cold, back to work for my husband and so on). So I didn’t go.

I’ve been talking with a few of my friends and colleagues about my desire to do Ironman Canada again.  That’s me in the picture above. It was taken as I crossed the finish line of IMC in 2005.  Since then I’ve gotten married, had two kids, moved three times, completed a massive home renovation, and started my own business. It feels like that moment was a life time ago.

Anyways, I’ve been talking about signing up for Ironman again but honestly I just didn’t know how I could do it – it requires SO much training (for anyone who doesn’t know an Ironman consists of a 4km swim, 180km bike ride and 42.2km run) and with two little kids, a business to nurture, a home to look after and not a lot of help (no family/nanny/driver/chef etc.) I sometimes feel tapped as it is.

So it was interesting at how annoyed I felt about not being there – somewhere in the back of my mind I think I knew I wanted to sign up and by not going it meant that I’d be putting off this goal for another year.

And then I got an email from a client who said she’d just registered online which usually is never an option as IMC sells out the day after race day and you typically have to be there in person to register. So I quickly went and checked to see if registrations were still being accepted. They were. My heart beat quickened, my excitement grew and I’m sure my eyes dilated as I talked to Mat about what it would mean for our family if I made this commitment to myself. And then I registered.

I am officially signed up to compete in Ironman Canada 2011!!!!!

I’m nervous, scared, excited, and feel totally alive right now.  And here’s what I know – sometimes you have to say “YES” to the things in life that light you up even when they seem impossible to do.  So often we say things like:
“No” or
“Later” or
“Next year” or

“Maybe” or

“Not now” or

“I’m not ready yet” or

“I’ll think about it” or…you get the idea.

And when this happens, when we chose to play it safe or keep small we squelch something amazing that we could experience. When we decide to not make a commitment to something we miss out on fully experiencing our life. And sometimes when we feel pulled we’ll try to be logical and rational and figure out the “how’s”:

• “How am I going to do this?”

• “How am I going to fit this in?”

• “How will I find the time”

And when our brain is desperately trying to process the answers but they’re not coming up quick enough we’ll immediately jump to the “What ifs…”

• What if I can’t do this?

• What if I fail?

• What if I can’t find child care?

• What if I quit?

• What if I get injured?

• What if I look stupid?

As you can imagine these two streams of thought are enough to stop you from doing anything. No brain can fight this and that saboteur voice in your head knows this and that’s how he/she gets you to stay small and play it safe.

So forget about the “how’s” and “what ifs” and start paying attention to your feelings – if you’ve been thinking about doing something for a while and you’ve been letting your thoughts stop you simply commit. It’s the first step.  After that, everything falls into place.

If you do decide to go for something that you’ve been longing to do – let me know! I’d love to hear what it is – just drop down into the comments section below.

Here’s to saying “yes” even when you feel like saying “no”!

A Reminder…

On our last trip to BC I had the chance to go back to a place that holds a very special place in my heart – “the rap base”. It was the place I called home for six summers while fire fighting. I took my son there to see the helicopters as that’s one of his greatest loves right now.

As we were wondering around and checking out what was new and what was the same I came across a new cement stairway that had been poured. On the right hand side of each step was etched one of the above words so that as you walked up the stairs you couldn’t help but read :

“Strength does not come from physical capacity it comes from an indomitable will.”

Simple. Beautiful. Truth.

STRENGTH.

Chances are those words would have meant something very different to me at 25 than they do to me now at 35.  Then it would have definitely been about my physical self – the ability to work long and demanding days, the ability to push myself even when completely worn out.

STRENGTH. INDOMITABLE WILL.

Now? Well, it’s much more about the art of living a full life. A life with kids, a husband, a career and staying true to my own self and my own goals. Having my own goals seemed so much easier then with so much less responsibility and demands for my time.

I can still find myself completely worn out on some days but it seems like it’s so much more a mental/emotional fatigue rather than physical.  Sometimes it’s the weight of the never-ending to-do list, or laundry, or dishes that needs to be looked after that can feel draining which is why now more than ever, it’s so important for me to be committed to doing the things that make me feel like me.

This is where the “indomitable will” will piece comes in…for sure there are nights I’d rather watch re-runs of Sex in the City than go to the gym but I am committed to being the best version of me which means I need to do the things that support that goal.  Exercise is just one example but I find that I’m often digging deep to find the strength to be the kind of mom I want to be, the kind of entrepreneur I want to be, the wife I want to be – honestly, there are definitely times when it would just be easier to quit, to say “no” and to shut down.

But that would be saying NO to the experience of my life and that’s not what I’m about. I choose to have an indomitable will regarding the things that matter most.

Let me ask you – what are you going to choose to have an indomitable will for?

When Commitment Feels Scary

The Ultimate Sign

I was out for my long run today and was going about my thing…running…and saw this. It stopped me in my tracks and I had to catch my breath – it wasn’t just that I was breathing hard from exertion, it was like a SIGN had been put right on my running path intended only for me to see. And here’s exactly what ran through my mind as I read each line…

Commit

“No. I’m scared. I don’t know how.”

Commit

“No. Forget it. It doesn’t matter what I think. It’s too hard. People will think it’s stupid”

Commit

“I can’t. I’m still confused. I don’t know how to best say it. It’s jumbled up. I’m not ready yet”

Commit

“I want to. I do. But…I just feel full of ‘I don’t knows…’”

Commit

“I know. I know. I know. I know I’m selling out if I don’t. I know I’m playing small if I don’t. I know it’s what I need to do. How? How do I do this? How do I start?”

Commit

“I want to. I get a knot in my stomach. I feel nervous. I feel anxious. I feel emotional thinking about it. I get stuck in the ‘what ifs…’ too. What if people laugh? What if no one cares? What if I’m wrong? What if this doesn’t help anyone? What if..?

Commit

“Ok. Ok. Ok-enough!!! I’m willing. I’m ready. I mean not really “ready” but as ready as I think I’ll ever be. Ok. I’ll start. I promise. I commit. Please help me!”

There was a lot more than that but those are the essential pieces. You see, I’ve kinda been holding out…I’ve got some BIG stuff that I want to share and talk about and yet I’ve been unwilling to commit. I’ve been holding out on myself and you. And as much as I work with my clients every day around quieting their inner critic(s) mine have been having a field day.

This really should be my clue that I’m getting close to something big.

And you see, I’ve wanted to talk about this, what I’m feeling, what’s really going on for me but I’ve also felt like a hypocrite – I mean I’m a Coach, I should know better, I shouldn’t have saboteur thoughts and so on and so forth. But I do, and I’m working on them with my own Coach.

I also happen to have incredible friends who are also Coaches and they’re not letting me hide out. They’re calling me on my stuff…daily. Thank you, by the way – your acknowledgement and championing of me that has meant more than you know.

I commit.

This post is my first step.

And now I want to ask you, what have you wanted to commit to but haven’t for whatever reason?

• Maybe you’ve had one foot in and one foot out of your relationship because that just seems easier, you can’t get as hurt that way…or

• Maybe you’ve promised to take better care of yourself yet you don’t …or

• Maybe you’ve wanted to change your career because the one you’re in now is wounding your soul but you feel stuck because of the money and change just seems so hard…you get the idea.

I’ve been asking myself some pretty hard questions in order to help me move forward. Let me ask you too:

1. What’s the worst thing that could happen if you took that first step?
2. What are you modeling for your kids?
3. What advice would you give your daughter if she was where you are now?
4. What are you getting from staying stuck? Think about this…it must be something or you would have done something.
5. How is fear holding you back? Write down what you’re afraid of – you’ll see it’s not so bad once it’s out of your mind and on paper.

Noticing the crap that you tell yourself and the sneaky way you can make it sound even logical (it’s safer this way, not ready yet, not experienced enough, don’t have enough time, etc.)  is the beginning of being able to move forward.

This is the beginning of a new phase for me. I’d love to share the ride – if you’ve been holding out, afraid of committing to something you know is deeply important to you, then drop down into the comments section below and let me know I’ve got company.

Modesty & Business Do Not Go Hand in Hand

Bootcamp

I’m SUPER excited!!

Entrepreneur Bootcamp for Women starts next Wednesday and I’m right in the middle of the launch for it now. Talk about a learning curve…I’m hosting preview calls , inviting people to be affiliates, sending emails to my list and hoping that I’m not annoying anyone yet.

And while all of this is new and exciting it’s also a little bit scary and nerve wracking. I’ve been trying to figure out what’s been getting to me and I finally realized it. I’m talking about this program a lot which feels like I’m talking about myself a lot. I don’t know about you but I grew up being told that it wasn’t polite to brag and that being modest was important. But if I was to follow that advice in my business…well, I’d be out of business.

I was talking with my coach the other day while I was having somewhat of a panic attack and feeling all “salesy” and uncomfortable. She asked me why I was doing this, why did I create this program and why am I running it? My answer was easy – I found starting a business to be a shitload of work. There was SO much I didn’t know and I had to learn it the hard way and it took a lot of time and a lot of energy and a lot of money. I want to help make the process easier for other women entrepreneurs who are in the exact same place I was a few years ago. I want to make their experience easier and more fun!

She then asked if I believed in my program. “Wholeheartedly,” I said. “It’s exactly what I wished I’d had when I was struggling to learn everything including the stuff I didn’t know that I needed to know”.

This conversation has allowed me to feel really proud of the program I created. Entrepreneur Bootcamp for Women rocks and although I still feel slightly uncomfortable trying to get and create so much attention around something I’m involved with, I also know it’s how I can help people. If people don’t know this program even exists then I don’t get to make a difference, I don’t get the chance to help someone out.

Sing it from the roof tops!

So if you have ever felt awkward around making a “big deal” out of something you offer, I encourage you to take a stand and remind yourself that what you do is important. You do what you do so you can make a difference for others. If people don’t know about you or your product/service then they can’t find you and you can’t help them. If you’ve got something great to offer I challenge you to sing it from the roof tops…because it is a big deal. If you don’t make a big deal out of it, who will?

Your first step can be to drop down in the comments section below and write about one awesome thing you offer (product/service).

Jen

ps. If you’re at all intrigued by EB4W join me tomorrow at 2:00pm MT for a free preview call http://jenniferpowter.com/businessbootcampnow/